Damn!!! Crap.. what a waste of time!!! As I was saying before I stupidly erased it all for the billionth time!!!... As you can tell from this morning`s entry, I wasn`t the happiest camper as I skipped off to school today. Infact, I didn`t skip at all... it was more of a trudge... the slow and painful trudge of defeat. Anyhow, the world was looking pretty grey, and I was feeling pretty... well...pretty... I guess the word is... sad. Self pity, dear. All through the day, I was remorseful... which is so completely stupid...but the fact is, I was. The whole day was just.. okay over all, saved by 7th period Theatre Arts. Monica, Falisha and I enacted an improvization in which Falisha was about to reveal to her mother Monica that she was a lesbian. I was Monica`s "boyfriend" who was inconveniently in the room at the time.... The whole thing was a complete fiasco and.. pretty hilarious. It was nice. So then... theatre was over and Monica Fred and I put flowers in eachother`s hair and came to Say Sí, where we took a coastal run with a long detour on the way back. I felt like taking a walk and Fred and Monica decided that`d be a nice idea. And it was a nice idea. It was beautiful out... and there was so much wild life about... butterflies and caterpillers and cats and hundreds of squirrels. And then we came to a bridge above the river and sat there for awhile... both talking and being silent.... and the water was still... yet there was a breeze... and there were mirrored images of the clouds... and buildings.... and there were ducks! Ah.. it was lovely. So, Saturday we`re going to have a picnic there, and you`re invited! Yes you! You! Reading my blog! The more the merrier.. actually, thats only so in certain cases... and this probably isn`t one of them... but oh well! This made my day. Oh it WAS horrible!! And maybe it is now... maybe so... yeah it sorta is... like a little itch that I can`t stop... and its driving me... driving me to the brink of insanity!!!!! I`ll be totally okay in a couple of days, my Mom has advised me to call old friends and stuff.. so I stop feeling this empty space inside of me... and I think she`s right. I`d call right now if I wasn`t at Say Sí.. but I am so I can`t. Yep thats how the ball bounces... against the wall.. into the street them BAM! Bye bye ball.. -Waves to nothing in particular- I`ve smarted up ad discovered, "Copying and pasting!!!" no.. I knew about it but now.... every few sentences I`m coping everything I just typed.. so that if I mess up and delete it all.. it`ll be saved to some extent!! n.n Anywho! I dunno why but... I have a small burst of glee. -Shrug- Its odd. I like... pushed my sadness aside. I`ll rephrase that.. its pretty cool and odd. In that group over there.. -points to Mark, Kris and Aaron- their laughs sound pretty fake.... Hmm... I don`t know why.... Laughter. Laughter is wonderful. REAL laughther... wonderful to hear and to make. When you can throw your head back.. and produce a sound thats good for the soul and heart... yeah.... Great times. When you laugh like yourself... or AT yourself... or both.... thats great... -Shrugs- I dunno what I`m talking about but.. I`m gonna go to a picnic on Saturday and maybe potentially somewhere else... so the week, until then, is rather saved in advance, in a way.... No matter what I hear, thank goodness I won`t have to see it, I`ll push it away, far away, and just think about happier times... or the river veiw from the bridge... or a nice squirrel...