I only saw Fred once today... and today I needed him the most. The events of the day were... rather dismal and so slow that I got to think about and analyze each and every bad aspect of it and every unkind word said to me. I won`t go into the school day.. thats another awful story. -Shrugs- Seeing and talking to Monica Falischa and Tim helped. But then... I had to stay after school for theatre. No one there likes me... even though I like them... I do. My theatre teacher can`t remember my name though he sees me everyday and after school tons... and I know he doesn`t like me. Sadly, he`s the type of guy that plays favorites when assigning roles in productions... -sigh- People I`ve spent zillions of laughs with, zillions of hugs... zillions of helping them.. and working with them and loving them... left me for a guy they knew only for a short period of time and forgot I existed. Well.. all but one very loyal little red-head. n_n I love her. Yes, but the others... even though I was right infront of them.. and was doing things for their benefit.. they didn`t care. Worstly, being obligated at school deprived me of seeing a particular person whom is one of the few loves in my life. I got in the car and my mom immediately started telling me who she saw at International Nite. She told me about a lot of my old friends... that I do love... but... then she tells me that Eddie was there. Hearing this, oddly enough I broke into tears... And I`m crying again... fuck! Today would have been one of the the only 2 days I get to see him this year, that is... if he`s still in Orchestra... -Sigh- It hurts to lose touch with a friend as good as Eddie was... and is. We were so close... in many ways. I guess no one can understand the type of relationship and love we shared... and not many knew it but us two. He always called himself my brother... I dunno.. we were just close. I guess I had a relationship with him like I do with Say Siers.... but different still. Hey I think... I have an idea. This would make me feel so much better. I can`t believe I never thought of this before. -Sigh- I can be so.. unethical sometimes.