Am I that transparant?

Do you know what I`m thinking right now? How 'bout now? This next post is going to be about love, isn't it? Or a story about the same person... as every story preceeding it. Or a recap of my day maybe? A funny anecdote or situation that occured? Some song lyrcs from a really sad or beautiful song? Or a dose of nostalgia. Maybe I kissed another boy that I wasn't supposed to? Maybe I fell out of love finally. Did I neglect my homework again? Maybe a quotation or a post that doesn't make sense to anyone but myself.. because I'm feeling things I can't describe... or concealing a secret. Maybe I`ll talk about what I ate for dinner... or about the nights I lie in the dark for hours listening to sad music and wishing I weren`t in love with the world. Or maybe I`m wishing I never knew anyone that I know.. just because of one person, maybe I`m wishing I could start over... Maybe I`m updating on movie progress, on mental progress, on... emotional progress? Am I ranting again about bands and words of the week? Or about how I use accents for apostrophes? Or that Coldplay is blasting out of my stereo and the bass and drum hvae fused with my soul? Or how I feel over looked... or small or belittled... or like crap because I can't do anything as well as I'd like to. How I wish my screenplay was better, that I practiced the cello more... I could try out for a part in the school play and get at least an extra... or that I slacked off this nine weeks because life was too hard? But... I don't want to tell you anything that you've heard before. I want to fling my soul in the river so it can get clean.