I feel like sharing a story with the world.

Light broke, colours vaporated and the whispers of the sea became the whispers of sleep. As she slept, a fleck of silvery sea glass mirrored the empty moon above. Smooth, ornate and indefinate, it shone on until dreams washed over her and day broke. When she rose she took the glass in her hand, to remember. In it, the purples of hope spoke to her, greens showed her sorrows and crimson glowed with love. Understanding remained the purest of whites, and she turned over the stone and left her past. The grey of a new day glimmered on her throat, and she left the house, numb with exhaustion. The blue of the sky wet her mouth- the orange of the sun dried her eyes and she felt an old melody at her feet. Nothing presented itself to her- and she searched for thought other than the rippling ocean. As the clouds parted, she finally rested on a bright dune of sand. She never knew understanding- but the hope of it was overwhelming. The purest of whites consists of every existing colour.

Her eyes closed to the future and the universe passed her by. She looked to the sea for an answer, the waves crashed and flooded her heart. She felt like oragami- folded inside herself. It was then, on the dune that she opened her eyes and breathed. She felt the world turning beneath her, the stars blinked above her and she felt the rhythm of life. Her heart and soul became a drum filled with opal vibrations and she rose above herself. When she looked down, she found sheets of blank paper, white and afraid. An answer eluded once more, tears adorned the thick sky. She was a lie. Slick ebony was her barrier, her soul was choked by powder blue smoke- no exits existed. Daily she returned to this same shore in her mind, daily she searched. Daily her heart bled answers, and she couldn`t listen. The colours of the weather pierced her and she could not feel them. There was no exit... she screamed and screamed for yellow pain yet splintered hands would not come. Ears had long gone, she knew that dark would not listen so she remained- a torn fortress in a bed of sky. As she pulled a sheet of sky over her whitewashed shell, navy blue words fell into the ocean. The spash filled her walls with the scent of salt and she awoke on an auburn precipice. Purple sea, hope, the origin of life, the end of drawn out calamity rested before her. A window, a rose coloured cup of compassion materialized and she pressed a questioning eye to the glass.Beyond the sea life continued; glazed with a new song, smooth like crystal.

Put a little sunshine in your life...

Oh my gosh- driver's ed is dumb! Eternal Sunshine came out today!!! Well,gotta go... driverscall.

Your Face Is A Big Lie.

Well- it's happened, my world has fallen apart again, right on schedule. Peachy keen! Nothing is right at all. I feel like I`m arguing with a wall right now. Anyway- I felt really sick all lunch hour and for the rest of the day after that. And I felt really pissed off because I feel insignificant. If I dropped off the face of the Earth no one would mind. Blink maybe, but not mind.... I`m a lie inside myself.

We're not crazy!

I forgot to write about our sitcom-esque moment. Before retreating into UT Austin I grabbed a flying grasshopper for no particular reason, and Carly Fred and I were playing with it. Everyone was filing into a class room for an info session... and the grass hopper flew from me into the open class room! Carly, Robert Fred and I looked around and Carly noticed the grasshopper had flown onto this kid Clayton's ass. XD And so, we all eruped with laughter and watched as Clayton walked to the back to find a seat. But then, I realized he'd sit down and crush him! So I ran into the room and began shouting for him to stop, and people were looking around at me like I was insane because I bent over and began staring and pointing at his ass. :D Ha ha ha... So finally it dawned on me that I should tell him what was going on... but instead of doing so calmly, I yelled, "There's a grasshopper on your ass!" So he kept staring at me like I was insane... then brushed his ass off and the grasshopper fell onto his chair. I scooped him up and went to sit next to Tabitha like nothing had happened... and gave him to Monica because he bit me. Monica rested him on the window and he was fine throught the presentation until Tabitha decided to prod him and he flew in our area like wild fire. So we all kept giggling, and got in so much trouble...

"What are you doing with a gun in space?"

I met a cool kid interested in film today. I think he's Brian's ideal. I GET TO GO TO SAY Sí TOMORROW! And there is no fear of seeing anyone I wouldn`t care to see... I want to erase my memories... "Cause everything reminds me of her... this evening." Really I mean, him. People think I`m a lesbian, isn`t that weird? I guess it's because they don't understand me, and I accept all people... or something. Getting back on the sad subject, maybe I don't want to erase my memories... just see Eternal Sunshine because I KNOW that will make me feel better. Isn`t that sad, I find confort in movies and not through contact from people. Anyway... as before said, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind comes out Tuesday and then I win! We went to UT Austin and Texas State today, I`m not sure if I care for either, especially not Texas State. That place is ugly and has so little major choices! But I do like UT Austin, it's just so big... and I think I need a tight niche to keep me happy. But who knows, I also want to go far away... East Coast. Or Europe. I guess I`ll see how New York is this Spring Break. I bet I`ll fall in love with it and not come home. I want a big city, I want a small snowy town, I want white sandy shores and a house on a hill, and a novel of my own, and to save the whales... and a major indie film that I'd write and direct. I want to live life already! Highschool isn't life, it's just like some bizarre jail. I wish I were a year older, so that way I`d be skipped up and be a senior. I'd be one if we didn`t have to take uneccesary credits like P.E and BCIS, Health and Speech. I wish you could become exempt for those things. If it were so, next fall, I'd be experiencing a beautiful fresh start. Maybe I'd save myself. Who can really expect a night in shining armor these days? They sweep you off your feet, do amazing feats then take off on foot. Jeez that sentence was stupid. I`m ashamed of it. I feel like dropping through the floor... not because of the sentence. I feel ill, physically and spiritually. I think I`m going to vomit.

My poor sad friend... I will avenge you!

That I will. Jeez, that makes me angry. If someone asks to go on a date with you, and you don't care for them and don't intend to go- why don't you say so? I'd say so, I mean... why drive people around in circles? If you fear hurting them- then why do you hurt them the most at the end? It's only those wishy-washy who do this. -Anger- Oh... the beautiful are wasted on the ugly. Well well well... I`m neglecting government homework... just to read but, whatever. Man! I have Driver's Ed... and it's the pits. Well- I`m off.

Reflection of the day: Do unto others as you woud have done unto you...(?)

I want to have segments for this blog- like Monday some kind of reflection, Sunday word of the week, Tuesday... a fiction story or something.... etc. So I`ll start out with today, the setup for the week.

� Word of the week: Juxtaposed, as in: They met, juxtaposed.
� Band flash back: The Smiths
� Band new comings: The Secret Machines


...Maybe more later.

Long time no post.

I feel one comin' on... I have the most difficult time talking to people. For some reason Fred thinks there is something horribly wrong with me when I am happy as can be. I`m so free! -But I did think it ironic that queue was one of my vocabulary words for the day. Pablo called me this morning aquiring about my best friend Matt's phone number. Matt is going on a date with Monica Saturday. Pablo was on his way to the foot doctor so he could chop off his toe or something. I wore flip-flops today and showed off my toes. The kids brought a soccer ball and I couldn`t play because of my lack of shoes. Children in Africa can`t afford shoes. We prayed for the people of Africa on school prayer day. Yesterday Claudio Monica Pablo and I had a big discussion on prayer and faith. Pablo Monica and I also have plans for a soap opra, YoChat. It stars Monica as Sofía, myself as Consuelo and Matt as Errrrrnesto. Sarah is La Güerita. This idea evolved from drama in a chat between Monica nad Joe. Monica says he's probably angry at us. So today I felt weird like I`d done something wrong... and I didn`t tell him this cool thing that happened to me though I know he'd appreciate it. My physics teacher isn`t appreciated, she's so sweet but kids are so rude to her. I want to take a camera to school and film the class and show it to them. I hope they are ashamed of themselves. I felt ashamed the other day, and then remembered that I am only human. Yesterday I shrugged a lot of things that I remembered off. I am better for it today. Today Carly gave me a journal that is mimicking the 1000 Journals Project. I didn`t get to finish my entry... but oh well. I made a journal entry today finally. Entitled: "FREE As A Bird." I remember the coolest thing I`ve seen, when I saw that bird flying above me with that pink flower in its beak. It was lovely. The world needs more lovely things. Matt and I are getting to be good friends. He called me the other day to chew the fat, it was cool and friend-like. I want to read a really good cool book. 1984 has been on my list for forever. So had Siddhartha... -sigh- but yeah... forever is stupid. Anyway, everyone and their posterity are reading Stephen King- if that makes any sense. But they are. I went to go get a manicure today- and ruined it because I'm paranoid. I just listened to Free As A Bird.. and really payed attention to the lyrics, and that song does not define how I`m feeling at all.Oh boy... my itunes is not satisfying me whatsoever. If I Needed Someone... Look what You've Done... Bah.

So, nothing's been going on too much, and this is grammatically incorrect. The same day as my last post a very dear friend died... and I don't believe I understand death yet... or recognize it. Today some kids are going to read some of his poety at the Koffee Kup, Thom and I gave them some poems we wrote about him as well. People keep asking me if I`m okay... and it annoys the hell out of me. I think, "Who am I for anyone to be asking if I`m okay? I'm insignificant...." I went to my first funeral Tuesday- but I don't want to talk about that, really. I don't know what I want to say... that life is unfair, that death is unfair... and that it all comes too soon. Everything has opened my eyes to live my life fuller, but my heart won't listen. Hope of Chris is gone- and since I can't talk to him, I better accept it. And I do.

Blame it on a rush of blood to the head.

"I`m nobody, who are you? Are you nobody, too?" But nobody is nobody... nobody like me- because if I was someone, you couldn`t stare right past me. If I was someone- I wouldn`t feel this empty.

And tonite I will feast on beauty...
Tomorrow won't be so unkind.

I want to go back to that beach- not just in my mind. I'd like the wind to stop blowing- I'd take the sand out of my shoes. Or place something in this huge hole inside of me. Why can`t I ever handle anything? I`m afraid so- it all was a mistake obviously. And Friday, I'm so alone, I could just... evaporate.

"and I'm high enough from all the waiting
to ride a wave on your inhaling
and I'm high enough from all the waiting
to ride a wave on your inhaling
cause I love you no?
can't help but love you, no... "

Well now..

Blogger never recalls that I have just signed in 2 minutes ago and that it should just take me to my dashboard!! -Well, tonite Robert is hosting the much talked about LAN/pool party that should top all other LAN/pool parties that have ever happened in the history of the WORLD!! Yeah well anyway- I better see all you kids there tonite... or you will suffer mass injuries from an unknown source. >_> Come to think of stuff... I should get ready or somethin'.

It's good... isn`t it grand, isn`t it great? Isn`t it swell? Isn't it fine... isn`t it- nowadays? There's men everywhere, jazz... everywhere booz, everywhere life- everywhere joy.. everywhere, nowadays. You can like the life you're living, you can live the life you like. You can even marry Harry.. but mess around with Ike.. And that`s good... isn`t it grand? Isn`t it great isn`t it swell? Isn`t it fine nowadays?"

Radha kaise na jale!

¡De veras! Sto male de amore... Pero... Vsyo boodet harasho- yo pensando.

(I have a feeling none of this is right.)


Eh, c'est tout.

Moon Theme?

Well today I`m listeing to songs that have the word 'moon' in the title. Why? Because I`m crazy and bored! So- here's the list of my moon songs... not in any particular order. Feel free to shout out those you know of not listed here... because listening to the same 10 songs today is gonna get annoying...

1. Moon Shadow- Cat Stevens.
2. Man On the Moon- R.E.M
3. Fly Me to the Moon- Frank Sinatra
4. Moonchild- King Crimson
5. Mr. Moonlight- The Beatles
6. Moon child- Cibo Matto
7. Dark Side of the Moon- Pink Floyd
8. Moonlight Shadows- Suzanne Vega
9. Moonlight Sonata-Beethoven
10. Moon Dance- Van Morrison
11. Harvest Moon- Neil Young

>_> And I just re-discovered Preview. I bet it was still here all along. <_<

"You can`t always get what you want."

Music- it's one half, writing is the other... and I think I`ve chosen not to feel.

First Friday Mañana.

Test of... >_> fate? Test of time, test of friends? Yeah uh... whatever. I'm crazy! And totally independant!! :D