When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, and I hung my head and cried.

You're like a little flower. You're like a little flower with soft petals, that's exactly what you are.

I don't know how this came up...

I'm going to say something that's sort-of going to get me into trouble. Let's just remember I prefaced with that comment, even if it doesn't justify what I'm about to claim. I'm also not saying this is the case in everyone's life, but perhaps it will evoke a little thought and action. So, my current thoughts are about teen pregnancies and the products, I guess also known as the children, of those pregnancies. What I want to say is: it's a cycle. Young mothers have daughters and sons and then the daughters grow up and have children of their own out of wedlock. The sons go on to impregnate women, etc. and then their children go do the same. It's a cycle of children raising children. I'm not going to even mention the lack of education in this whole mix. Where's the time to be educated, anyway? You've got a baby to take care of! With all these babies being born, no one in the family has been educated so no one is making money, and so once again, the cycle continues. But before that, what were they doing? Hasn't man known since the beginning of time how we procreate? As a teen mother yourself would you not stress to your child the importance of using contraception? I know some people just want to be mothers, but some women just then have to want to be mothers. And what's wrong with having an abortion or giving up the kid for adoption if you really know you're not ready for passing a living, breathing thing through your vagina?

First of all, what is the deal with everyone not using contraception? Okay, I understand that one of those little guys can slip through the radar--but just plain ol' not using contraception is ridiculous. "I feels much better." Well fuck you, you're just not smart. I will forever have a little part of me that detests teenagers that have or have ever had unprotected sex. It gets me really steamed. Are you guys idiots? Excluding those of course, who actually want kids, you have to be a complete douche to use prayer as your sole form of contraception. Or at least a little bit of a douche. Not to mention, nowadays the world is full of mutant viruses, unknown strains of bacteria and infections. Sex can kill. We're all going to be killed by some ignorant children who cause a platonic plague from being horny. Yeesh.

Wow--that was pretty bad. I give up.

Just you try to take care of yourself.

I used to mention God a lot. I wonder if I really believed.

Back to square one.

I feel like a part of me has died. This is probably literally the worst night of my life. Have you ever cried your lung out? Have you ever felt so broken hearted you threw up? I have now lived through these wonderful emotions. Only the best, you know?

I can't even write. I can't even get a story out of this. Fuck.

Happy 19th to me.